moms just know!!!

mom never fails to surprise me...never!

:O

and i dont really know how to get her to know me a little less of me...
she can see through me (not everytime is that a good thing)

especially now when i m trying to get stuff off my mind...

my dear momma,
for all the times that you have understood me without telling you anything
know that i have just loved it...no matter how scared i get...

its still a good feeling to know that u know me so well

:)
mom
i love u...more than my words would ever show...

even though i dont spend so much time with u
even though i hate it at times when u are unreasonable
even though we fight so much

even though i don't see reason in a lot of things that u do

i love u!

and no matter how strong i show i am...i really can't do without u in my life!

happiness is...today!

after the uncanny bit which really got me off balance, some real stuff!!!

some days are too good to be true [:)]

like today...

i dont know what about the day really caught me on the right foot...but something about today made me happy and o boy!...did i not make a BIG DEAL about it (hehehe)

thats what i specialise in...making a big deal of such small happy moments.
in that sense today was a bright red (or orange...or shimmering silver...or sunflower yellow) streak in an otherwise black and white life...if one can visualise what that would mean!...

well, for all those who can't it does mean a hell lot...especially in these colour starved days of endless assignments and compulsive (read useless) thesis proposals (well did i tell you how well i defended my bit of this useless compulsive p thing today...yes yes yes...i did it...:D with a conviction that i couldnt ve boasted about ever)

and yes that does add to this happy today...mundane things like that...i mean now c'on who doesnt know that its just another stage that one wants to get done with!!! n everyone gets done with it...so whats the BIG DEAL...so here again my expertise in action...i made it sound really BIG for myself...and decided to celebrate this with BIGGER GR8-er happiness...

so out i went...more with myself than anyone else...and i guess nobody can compare my company...hey really... no kidding here :P. with such a great company i couldnt have asked for more...but i did :)...n thankfully i got...some more goodies just for myself...coz the three of us (in case u are wondering who three there were i, me and my-happy-self) decided to go on a spree...sometimes its good to act on your instincts and impulse...n today was just the right day for all these sometimes :)...

so i pampered myself spoilt :D as i celebrated today
...with cafe latte...n choco-chip cookies...and yummilicious sizzler...
everything was just like those right notes of a fiddler

coz make no mistake and dont dare doubt...
this celebration of today is what my happiness is all about!

(now thats the poet-ess in me...dying to express herself! hehehe...n unlike life i believe in playing it fair n square :P)

totally uncanny !

its stange how a stranger can express it so well...words with which you are trying to grapple n grope

...n i HAVE to put it here ...Copyright: A Brown and Agile Girl (and apologies too)

"...
And you know what is funny - life's so crazy about moving on, that it won't allow you a moment to think about what you lost. It will force you ... to smile and make merry! To pretend as if nothing ever happened!! To pretend as if fate didn't steal away from you that which you wanted the most ...

So, now what?!
Overwhelming emptiness ...
And a lot of pretending!
So much pretending, that you almost fool yourself ..."

Quote Unquote

Some people comes to our lives and leave in a while. Some others stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same!

you, my dear friend, belong to the latter category.

blue vs. yellow

suddenly i wonder why happiness is such a short term concept...i mean its not that i haven't been happy in the last few days but if somebody reads my posts thats the last thing that will strike anyone...

do i like to paint a sad picture of my life...i would certainly deny that!

what explains this best is the fact that happiness is a momentary concept...and those who remain happy all the time are striving for it every moment (with or without conscious efforts)...while i live that happy moment while it is there...be happy but when time comes to write... the not-so-happy things stand out...one good reason to write them is to get it out of my system...

not-so-happy moments if left unexpressed can make me a not-so-happy person...and i certainly wouldnt want to be that.

so i would talk about happiness for a change...those instant gratification moments (like somebody said in the mess today...such moments are the only ones that matter)...at a level i agree with him.

let me see how many of such moments i have had recently...

- good food tops the chart of such I-G-Ms...good food can never ever fail to cheer me up...hehehe

- then there has been these certain books that i ve read in the recent times...which i have identified so much with myself that it can be said to be my I-G-Ms...i mean if a stranger understanding me so well can give me so much happiness it gladdens me...and gives me a hope that i am not that complicated...:)

- characters like Lizzie and Mr. Darcy made me happy...:) series like SaTC give me I-G-Ms

- sometimes songs do the trick...in the recent past they have many a times picked up my spirits

- oh yes...cycling...its difficult for people to understand what makes me so happy while i am at it...guess the fact that i am in complete charge :)...and tennis and basket ball...even though i hardly can call myself a player there...but sports have an immense degree of involvement and i love being so involved in something that makes me forget everything else in life

- beautiful mornings...make me happy...yes @MICA especially...rain and thunderstorms have their own way of getting me alive and happy

- winning the first prize by virtue of being the only participants who would care enough to wake up and be part of the flower decoration contest at 8 am - definitely a big high :D

- sharing secrets with momma dear as if she was my first friend is also something that gladdened my heart immensely

- that a dear friend is planning a surprise for another one is also happy news

- not caring for the world while dancing through the night is one more thing that added some sunshine to my life very recently

so my point is that these happy moments are not in short supply in my life :)...i am sure if i continue i can write few more

:)

but these are momentary...last for a very short span of time...and hence the need to write them takes a backseat somehow...

and so i paint the blue picture of my yellow life!

yes its mostly yellow...i just cant handle the little blues...

kindly dont mistake me for a true blue person.

i, for one, wouldnt be agreeable to that.

The 'IG' - business

its sad.

She can pop into my life...talk about their problem...convince me of my active role in her miserable life...and leave me without any alternative but to ignore him.

i ignore him.
for all the good times he has helped me get through in life...i ignore him.
for all the times when he has gone out of his way to turn things my way...i ignore him.
for all the times that he has ensured that life is a little more meaningful...i ignore him
for all the times he has stood by me...i ignore him
for a great friend that he has been...i ignore him.


yes i ignore him...for her sake!

in the hope that things will resolve in their life...in the hope that they will start trusting each other...respecting each other enough to spare me the burden of their miseries...

in the hope that finally i will get some peace of mind!

its sad...nonetheless true.