to resign or not to resign!

feel like resigning today!
dont want to explain why although i do have reasons...

GOA - bring it on!

yippppppppppppeeeeeeeee :)
for this weekend in goa!

:) whatever happens happens for the best

i am very happy for p :) - she truly did deserve something grand ...happy that she received it when she least expected it.
restores my belief - whatever happens happens for the best.
also - wanted to really have this on record - have 7 new book waiting to be read by me in my shelf...started first two and have set them aside (as they didnt fit the mood i was in) for the third one that i am reading currently :) until today morning when i also began on the 4th one - feel like a greedy glutton who wants to gobble up everything too soon.

over simplistic

yes we did meet. despite all odds. hate to think. all futile efforts. hopeless. nothing worth a mention in our context. nothing really felt. maybe nothing really left of that we once shared. a beautiful friendship. difficult to believe. a simple ending.

reconciliation.

a passing thought...captured by an author brilliantly

News from home makes you aware that the flow of memory has stopped. A life you no longer live is a life you no longer know. But you rely on false memory to inhabit, however falsely, what now lies outside your experience; and every home-coming involves the puncture of memory's airy bubbles
- The Wishmaker by Ali Sethi

reconciliation!

somewhere it hurts - a lot...to even think that i know you seems so fake...hollow...empty!
you are good at that (is that the only way i can convnce myself?)...i have seen you doing that to others...then why am i so shocked! i dont know.
so what is it that i am trying to salvage...is it just me...dont u feel anything at all? again why am i trying to compare everything i feel with u.
am i being formal in trying to connect with you...is there a way i can not be? is there a choice? - are you returning my favor...

but we will meet...and i will still reconcile whoever i want to remember u as and who you are today!

irony...

some thoughts have been living and dying in my mind off late...dying i say because of my inability to express it on time hence causing a sudden death of the same.
some thoughts stay...and refuse to budge! today is the day and time for those thoughts...

sometimes i feel that there is just so much to express that words will fall short...

how does one express what it feels to be isolated in sharing thoughts with people who used to know you best for years put together. how does one express what it feels when suddenly someone who only knows u for two years understands everything that u never said. is it the irony of life that if one understands the other has to un-understand...if thats the logic of life maybe all this makes sense!

my understanding seems to fail me somewhere.

pondering over something for last few days -

'distances'
who creates them really...is it a physical distance that is worse or the one that we create in our minds.
more importantly who closes these gaps...these gaps which become distances...and takes people far away from each other...in miles...in years.

some of these thoughts fails to simplify by itself - the more i simplify it just gets more complex.
life is simple though! - another irony is it?

delayed post of June 20 2009

as we go on we will remember all the times we 've had together...
as our lives change come whatever we will still be friends forever!

not sure of this anymore.
yes like i used to hear from moms earlier - this friends thing finally rings a bell...the thing abt friendship...the thing about being there for each other.
basically everything seems a little hazy now...no longer i would bet my life on it. (yes earlier i would ve)
its strange how one experience affects others...although incidents in life can mostly never be compared yet how we try to learn from last incident and attempt to not repeat them...what i learnt from friend s is not applicable to friend p...but i am cautious...as anything can happen anytime...and there is no need for any logic anyway in life...so what is it that i am expecting this time around.

ok enough of this - let me change the topic here.

love...a feeling i experience off and on with him. i realise his way of loving is almost everytime different that her way of loving him. and both are lovely :)

overwhelmed

was overwhelmed for the better part of yesterday...

my dear flatmate - a friend - who has been around for above two years now...wrapped up our former house and left the city...to start afresh.

it left me overwhelmed because

...she has been a constant all the while she was here...suddenly it shifts.

...i will miss her ways (and she wasn't exactly easy to get along with according to most)

...she left in a hurry...doesnt it always seem so...one cant be prepared for such things

...there are unclosed matters in her heart...god knows if she will ever think thats important enough to close

...un-nice things happened to a nice person like her

although in paper one tends to think that not much will change because of distances...i wouldnt be too naive on that.

hopefully we will manage time to stay 'connected' through distances.

f(r)iend.

Suddenly realized that a single letter can make such a big difference! Actually was thinking of jotting my thoughts on friends (and not fiend) when it just struck me…the close shot it is.
Had thoughts today about all kind of friends…ones who add so much joy in life that u can’t do without them...some who are planned for various phases of life...one who decide to suddenly lose touch...few who pop up at unexpected moments in life...ones who let u down...friends who pick you up.

friendship. a beautiful relationship... as long as it lasts

there was a time when i used to believe that frienships last forever...no longer so...in fact in my belief i now see how much i wanted to hold on to friends...somehow that never works.

back again :)

have been out from my blog for over a year now...
life has been fun all the way through the last time i blogged. have realised that marriage is a happy feeling...and sharing life with a partner a beautiful experience. :)
its been busy...has left me with less time to express what i am going through to my small world.
that doesnt in any way mean i have gone through any less feelings...in fact i have discovered new ones...lived them...in all enriched myself through making the most of every single thing.
have become happier as a person (or so i think)
been very amused and awed by life since dec 2007...its been simply incredible...