when did i grow so ....

i have been itching to express in words...so many thoughts...feelings...emotions locked inside my mind in last few days...

when i am getting down to it finally...i can't even begin!!!

such is life!

i have been craving for a break...and now that is here i am dumbfounded...not sure if i am making the most of it. like someone once said..."be careful of what you wish for...you might just be granted your wish"

life is unpredictable and there are times when i don't know where am i headed...why do i want to make so much sense of everything?

this break comes with a lot of questions...as usual. again one decision needs to be made...again i am back to square one...is it only me?!?

i want to really figure this one out...am i as ambitious? can i start afresh again? can i figure whats "that" i really want from my life in this and next year. clearly i have my priorities set...then why am i so lost again...sometimes i feel i am giving up on myself just too soon...have i not done this in the past...re-written everything that this world thought i can do...so whats stopping me now...i need exactly that...a re-assurance that i can build from scratch...that i can learn...that my dreams are what keep me going...when did i become so comfortable...or is this what being complacent is all about!

i suddenly am faced with a lot many confrontations...about myself...what i have gained and lost in last few years. where is all my confidence about doing things...living life on my own terms...even if that means i need to deal with ambiguity...that i need to struggle...so what?

so what?

yes I CAN...there is no stopping...really! just make a decision...take a call...and jump the gun...rest will all be fine! :)