since when???

since when did i become so blank
that despite the light around, i just see the dark

since when did i forget to express
every little emotion that i never had to suppress

since when did i start staring at the wall
with the hope that it will answer it all

since when did i become so conscious
that every little moment of joy ends up in a mess

since when did i become so negative
that everything now has become relative

since when did i lose so much of myself
that i can now compare myself to a showpiece on that shelf???