:)

i tell u a lot of things...things that i sometimes feel are better off not sharing with anyone...feelings which i cant deal with myself...never thought i would do this to you.

but then again never been in this situation before...its not about being out of control...its just not having complete and total control... and in more ways than not it does make one feel helpless at times.

there are a lot of things i am liking about being in my current situation
things like
# having the time for myself... no work related stress!
# re-discovering the art of cooking...its really turning out to be good fun (never thought for the life of me i will get into cooking and enjoy it too)
# sleeping... one of my fav activity
# reading... its nice to be in this vacation mood - aah life!

:)

little bit of childhood that can never be lost!

a sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost!

read it somewhere - couldn't agree more

miss my sister more than anyone these days!

weird

i need to write... there are just so many feelings i am going through...maybe most women go through it during this phase - still

i am feeling weird... lost. alone. unreasonable. emotional. foolish. like i said weird.

don't feel like sharing with anyone. whats the point - don't feel like hearing
"its all part of the package"
"just now have positive thoughts"
"don't think about all this - it isn't good for you"

yes i know all this. really!

trying to stay away from it. almost running away from it!

any dream will do!

- just the right song for the moment :)

I closed my eyes,
drew back the curtain
To see for certain
what I thought I knew

Far far away,
someone was weeping
But the world was sleeping
Any dream will do

I wore my coat,
with golden lining
Bright colors shining,
wonderful and new
And in the east,
the dawn was breaking
And the world was waking
Any dream will do

A crash of drums,
a flash of light
My golden coat
flew out of sight
The colors faded into darkness
I was left alone

May I return
to the beginning
The light is dimming,
and the dream is too
The world and I,
we are still waiting
Still hesitating
Any dream will do

A crash of drums,
a flash of light
My golden coat flew out of sight
The colors faded into darkness
I was left alone

May I return
to the beginning
The light is dimming,
and the dream is too
The world and I,
we are still waiting
Still hesitating
Any dream will do

when did i grow so ....

i have been itching to express in words...so many thoughts...feelings...emotions locked inside my mind in last few days...

when i am getting down to it finally...i can't even begin!!!

such is life!

i have been craving for a break...and now that is here i am dumbfounded...not sure if i am making the most of it. like someone once said..."be careful of what you wish for...you might just be granted your wish"

life is unpredictable and there are times when i don't know where am i headed...why do i want to make so much sense of everything?

this break comes with a lot of questions...as usual. again one decision needs to be made...again i am back to square one...is it only me?!?

i want to really figure this one out...am i as ambitious? can i start afresh again? can i figure whats "that" i really want from my life in this and next year. clearly i have my priorities set...then why am i so lost again...sometimes i feel i am giving up on myself just too soon...have i not done this in the past...re-written everything that this world thought i can do...so whats stopping me now...i need exactly that...a re-assurance that i can build from scratch...that i can learn...that my dreams are what keep me going...when did i become so comfortable...or is this what being complacent is all about!

i suddenly am faced with a lot many confrontations...about myself...what i have gained and lost in last few years. where is all my confidence about doing things...living life on my own terms...even if that means i need to deal with ambiguity...that i need to struggle...so what?

so what?

yes I CAN...there is no stopping...really! just make a decision...take a call...and jump the gun...rest will all be fine! :)

interesting tit bits - some food for thought from last week

incomplete post
- for my own records wanted to write abt the 2 things that i thoroughly enjoyed last week

- Love Letters - the play reminded me too much of a Bengali Struti Natok - Priyo Bondhu- it reminded me of all the letters that i have stopped writing... it made me nostalgic too.

lost in space...

most days i dont feel anything about it...its not a big deal...it doesnt matter...really! it will only seem important if i make it to be...i dont want it to be important...i dont want it to even come to me in my remotest moments.

it - is nothing but that treasured moment that i no longer get with u...it is nothing but a feeling which is better not expressed....it is nothing if its not found everyday...it is nothing if it is not nurtured...it is a friendship thats lost in space...never to return...