i am still overwhelmed
was drunk and high...on dance and music yesterday at the "Final Orgy" (for the uninitiated that was the theme of the party we gave to our seniors who leave campus five days from now)
i dont know what it was...but i was happy and sad at the same time with such an intensity...it was actually amazing
dunno between the music...dancing...talking...smiling...enjoying
something very strange and strong hit me...suddenly it hit me that i dont believe in love...a love that remains for life...that people say lasts forever...no i dont think there exists any feeling like that...no i m not being cynical while saying this.
i do think that there is this magical feeling which makes u heady...makes u want to do things for someone else...to make him happy...but that is very shortlived...and before u realise it its just dead egg...there isnt much left of it.
putting it a little simply i dont think i will ever love somebody like that...coz there is this fear within me that i cant love people...because of whatever reasons.
something within hurt real bad...with this realisation. but it was such a final realisation that i was dumbfounded.
i dont know why this feeling came to my mind...
i think i am afraid to love anyone anymore...of losing a good friend when the love fades away...so i would rather not cross that line...coz at the end of it all i dont want to lose another friend...have already lost my share of friends.
made me feel really lonely and lost for that moment.
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Sweetheart they dont all always go away. Some are there, if not for life, then atleast for a very long time. And when they go, they are replaced by some other stronger bonds... some other people closer to us now.
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